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There is a little girl in Lebanon who wants to be a doctor when she grows up. She is nine years old, with dark brown piercing eyes, black as coal hair tucked into a scarf that tightly encircles her head. She speaks passionately and wisely; a still presence that speaks volumes. She has seen much more of death and dying in her short life than I will in all of mine.

In the house where I used to live I often watched out the back window of my ground floor office where there was a children’s playground. It was a closed in small area probably no more that 40 X 30 feet where the children attending a private school would play during lunch and breaks. But early in the morning I was most interested in watching a custodian who worked there.

As many of you already know, Laura's brother died on December 9th of a sudden and massive heart attack. He was only 53 years old and left behind his wife and 19 year old daughter, two siblings (Laura & Keith) and his parents (Ray & Jane). And as this New Year has come upon us so quickly, I find myself thinking of Craig's death only a few weeks ago.

We are front-oriented beings. As much as we would like to claim otherwise and believe me, my mother used to, we do not have eyes in the back of our heads. When we move out into the world, we orient from the front of our bodies. There are interesting things to see and smell and notice.

I know a lot about Integral Coaching®. It is where I spend all of my time. I mean it: all of my time. It is as though it breathes me, it works its way through me. Every book I read, every song I hear, every conversation I have, and every movie I see. Integral everywhere.

I attended my first one week silent retreat at Mabel Dodge Luhan House in Taos, New Mexico two years ago. The format of the retreat was complete silence, periods of meditation (zazen), slow walking (kinhin), and writing practice. We attended mindfully to our own care, ate meals quietly and made no eye contact with each other.

I have noticed that we human beings anguish much more about choice-making than situations that feel "choiceless."